


Use Somebody

by Wearing Cardigans (Haelblazer)



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Asphyxiation, Class Differences, Class Issues, Consensual Violence, Fight Sex, Frottage, Hate Sex, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mind Games, Outdoor Sex, Roughness, Teasing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-04-08
Updated: 2010-04-27
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:05:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4593912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haelblazer/pseuds/Wearing%20Cardigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron and Nathan are both in downward spirals and things only get worse when they violently hook up after a confrontation. {Set in Spring 2010: Nathan is a villain who's just learned that his mom killed his father; Aaron is a bit troubled and not at all okay with his sexuality. This is a DYSFUNCTIONAL relationship.}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've played with the early March 2010 timeline a bit as Nathan has not left town yet, but Holly has dumped Aaron and he is freaking out about it.

It wasn't hard to find a secluded area in Emmerdale. There were farmlands and woods, and most everywhere closed up so early that it could feel like you were the only one in the world if you went walking too late.

When Aaron got back off the bus from Hotten, it felt good to be so close to that seclusion. All the alcohol he'd taken in was starting to give him a headache, but the drunken fog was lifting and he was left to realize what an utter prick he'd been.

It was another night ending off with Aaron feeling like a complete idiot, and he was getting tired of it. He'd taken a dig at Adam, shouted at Paddy, and flat out insulted Eli. He probably had everyone thinking that Holly'd made the right choice getting rid of him. He couldn't face Paddy—and knowing him he was sitting up waiting for Aaron to get home.

Aaron wandered off, looking to be anywhere but Smithy Cottage. He wound up stomping through a small--almost wooded--area that lay in the vicinity of Home Farm. The trees were dense enough to block Aaron's view of the nearby road and it gave him the sense that he'd run off into the wild. Sometimes it felt like that's where he belonged, like a savage animal.

Aaron gripped his head in frustration, pacing in a small clearing and unable to make his anger dissipate. He hated this. He hated the person he had become. Knocking Lizzie over, yelling at everybody all the time. It was draining.

The trees weren't full enough to block out the moon, but Aaron was too upset to even let it light the way. His eyes were clenched closed and it was almost inevitable when his right elbow bashed into a nearby tree.

"Fuck!" He pivoted away from the tree and grabbed his elbow, still holding his head with his right hand. He bent forward for a few seconds and waited for the pain to subside. When the pain had gone down he turned to the tree and swung hard. The skin of his knuckles broke open when they hit jagged bark; blood streamed out over his hand and the tree.

The flash of pain overrode the stinging in his elbow and he grabbed himself by the wrist, unable to even touch the smashed open knuckles. He felt like even more of an idiot now, which is why embarrassment was his initial reaction to seeing the outline of another person heading towards the clearing.

It took a moment for Aaron's brain to register the sight before him. A man, moonlight bouncing off of brown or blond hair, about Aaron's size and somewhat familiar. Aaron flexed his fingers, opening and closing them into a fist, and squinting in pain at the approaching figure.

"That's fitting, isn't it?" Nathan Wylde's voice rang out in the empty night as he stepped into the clearing. He was wrapped in a black pea coat and sneering in Aaron's direction. Even in the low lighting Aaron could see how bruised his mouth was from the hit Ryan had dished out. Nathan gestured at his bleeding knuckles. "Causing trouble. Ruining everything you touch."

"Woulda helped Ryan ruin you if I'd had a chance." Aaron tried to play down how much pain he was still in as he spoke. "You'll want to find somewhere else to be."

"I quite like it here." Nathan ignored Aaron's comment and turned his palms face up, clearly getting some enjoyment by rubbing Aaron the wrong way.

"You're seriously picking a bad day if you wanna start up with me." Aaron let his fingers stay curled into a fist. "I have had a really bad week, and kicking your head in can only improve it."

"Bad day, bad week, I can trump you with a bad month. Which is why I don't appreciate you sticking your nose in with me and Ryan." Nathan continued to walk towards Aaron, his fists curled up and ready for a fight.

"Yeah, speaking of Ryan. You already got a good one." Aaron pointed at Nathan's bruised lip and jaw. "Why don't you let yourself heal up before taking another beating, yeah?"

"You're gonna dish that one out, are you?" Nathan reached Aaron and shoved him one too many times as far as Aaron was concerned. Aaron didn't really know what was going on with Nathan and Ryan, and he didn't care, but from what Aaron could tell, Nathan had come out looking for a fight.

"You've had it coming a long time, haven't you?" Aaron grabbed the lapels of Nathan's jacket and pushed him against a tree.

Nathan smiled and nodded 'yes' before taking the first swing. He wanted a fight—needed a fight. His fist connected with Aaron's jaw and a wash of relief passed over him. Finally, a distraction from the mess his life was becoming.

Aaron hadn't expected the hit to come so fast and he stumbled backwards, losing the grip he'd had with his left hand. He came back quickly though and used that hand to shove Nathan's head back into the tree.

"Ah! Damn!" Nathan shouted when his skull made contact. "You little—"

Aaron's fist hit Nathan in the mouth before he could get the rest of the sentence out of his mouth. Nathan's lip reopened and started bleeding down over his chin. He backed away from Aaron, hunched over on himself and holding the back of his head and his mouth. He looked at Aaron out of the corner of his eye and saw the other man lifting his leg, presumably to kick him over.

Nathan spun around and ran towards Aaron, shoving him back into the tree that had already caused the both of them trouble. He grabbed Aaron by the chin, and Aaron tried to dislodge his hands but he was unsuccessful and Nathan forced his face to the side and slammed it into the tree.

Aaron lifted his knee and tried to knee Nathan in the stomach, but Nathan grabbed his leg and continued to smash Aaron's face into the tree. Aaron finally stopped trying to get Nathan's hand off of his face and reached for Nathan's hair, pulling it until the other man let go.

When he was far enough away, Aaron hit Nathan square in the eye, scraping his already broken skin across Nathan's face. Nathan tried to blink away the blood that had gotten in his eyes, a bit dazed from the punch he'd just taken. He swung blindly and his fist grazed Aaron's shoulder. His arm continued in its forward motion and took Nathan with him. He stumbled forward and tripped over Aaron's feet, sending them both in a tumble to the grass below.

The fall knocked Aaron's breath out of his body and he immediately reached for the back of his head, where he'd hit the ground.

Nathan sank his nails into Aaron's throat, eliciting a scream; the other boy finally stopped punching him and attempted to dislodge the nails from his throat. Aaron just needed to breathe, just needed to get himself control.

Aaron was frantic; it felt like Nathan was going to choke him to death. No one would know, no one would find him; no one would even suspect Nathan. He started kicking his legs until he felt Nathan loosen his grip on Aaron's neck to try to grab for Aaron's hands in return.

It wasn't hard for Nathan to get control of the other man's wrists, as Aaron had been weakly pulling on Nathan's hands. He pulled Aaron's arms until they were crossed at the wrist across Aaron's chest. Sitting atop Aaron's hips, Nathan was hunched over to keep a grip.

"Just calm down, alright?" Nathan tried to get Aaron to stop freaking out before one of them got seriously hurt.

"I will calm down when you get off of me." Aaron pushed off of the ground with his feet and tried to lift Nathan off of him with his hips. When Aaron raised his hips, Nathan felt a stiff pressure underneath him and he tilted his head in confusion before realizing what it was.

Nathan squinted at Aaron in disbelief, mouth hanging open until it slowly shifted into an amused smirk. He shifted himself backwards until he was sitting on Aaron's now-obvious erection.

"Oh-ohoh." Nathan laughed. "You cannot be serious."

In an instant, Aaron's face lost all traces of his prior anger and panic; it became a blank mask as he realized why Nathan had moved backwards.

"Erotic asphyxiation—that's quite the worldly passion for a lad of your character."

"Get offa me." Aaron remained still, stopped struggling to get free, just made it clear with his face that Nathan needed to move. The only thing he could feel at that moment was the weight of Nathan on his lap.

"Do you fancy me, Aaron?" Nathan clearly took Aaron's order as a challenge to come even closer. He leaned down closer, gripping Aaron's wrists tighter. "'Cause it feels like you fancy me."

Aaron glared at Nathan, but did not respond, and the older man tilted himself forward on his knees, dislodging their hips and granting Aaron relief from that distracting pressure, but putting his face directly above Aaron's.

"Feels like you like me on you." Nathan whispered above Aaron's mouth, so his breath hit Aaron's lips with each syllable. Aaron clenched his jaw and felt himself breathing heavily. He was going to beat the hell out of this guy when he got his strength back. "Seriously, was it the choking, though? Did you get off on the choking?"

"I'm gonna get up from here, and when I do, it's over." Aaron spoke firmly and Nathan stopped laughing, but only to let his face fall into a soft smile. Aaron looked up at him warily. Nathan stretched his legs out so that he was lying on top of Aaron.

"What do you think you're doing?" Aaron asked as Nathan pressed his hips forward into Aaron's, trapping the younger man's erection between them so their stomachs were both pressing up against it. Aaron could feel his own heart beating fast in anticipation and disgust.

Nathan placed his forehead on Aaron's forehead. The two men stared at each other for a moment until Nathan had to shake his mussed hair out of his eyes. He took the opportunity to lean in closer when he was done.

"What're you doing?" Aaron asked more softly this time, with scared eyes looking into amused ones.

Nathan placed his lips on top of Aaron's for several second then moved back. He circled his thumbs on Aaron's wrists and looked at Aaron for a reaction. Aaron's eyes were wide, he looked like he was in a panic, but he was otherwise still. His breathing was heavy and his legs were stiff, and he was clearly waiting to see what Nathan would do next.

Nathan ground his hips down and Aaron could feel that the other man was getting hard as well. The night was silent except for their breathing; both men were panting and keeping their eyes trained on each other.

"Aghhh." Aaron growled before shoving his face up to meet Nathan's. He hated himself for doing it, and it felt as out of his control as his attempt to kiss Adam.

The tastes of beer and blood swam as one as their lips smashed together, opening and closing with such speed that Nathan was almost scared to slip his tongue into the fray.

Aaron did it first, sliding his tongue along Nathan's damaged lip. It stung, but Nathan ignored it and clasped the back of Aaron's neck to pull him in closer. Nathan nibbled on Aaron's lip in response and the slight shock of pain was almost a comfort to the younger man.

Nathan's hands gripped Aaron's shoulders as he used his left foot to push himself forward and back. The cold dampness of the dirt beneath them penetrated the fabric of Nathan's pants where his right knee helped keep his balance. His left leg was warmer, lying between Aaron's legs.

Nathan's teeth grazed the skin above Aaron's jugular vein as the older man slid his open mouth along Aaron's neck. He coated his neck with a pale red from his still-bleeding lip.

Aaron looked up at the sky, mouth hanging open as he tried to contemplate what was going on. He shook his head slightly from side to side, receiving no answers from the spare branches above him or the night country sky.

Aaron's fingers dug into the ground below, dirt creeping up under his fingernails. Everything that Nathan was doing felt too good, he couldn't summon up the strength to stop him. But he couldn't let himself actively participate in it, could he? He tried closing his eyes, tried to ignore who it was that was making him feel so good, but closing his eyes just left him to focus on the _feeling_.

His eyes snapped open and he focused on the sights above him, relishing the distraction from exactly what was making him feel so good.

Nathan's entire body was sliding against him, but there was one clear spot of solid throbbing making its presence known along the inside of Aaron's left thigh.

Nathan sank his teeth deeper into Aaron's neck and Aaron sucked in a gulp of air. He released the breath slowly as Nathan's tongue ran over the freshly formed teeth marks.

The pleasure became too much and the first instinct Aaron had was to grab the back of Nathan's head and hold on. Bits of grass and dirt fell through Nathan's hair as Aaron latched on and thrust his hips upward in response.

Nathan slid his hands down Aaron's shoulders and underneath his arms until he was pressing against Aaron's ribcage through the fabric of his jacket and t-shirt. He trailed his tongue higher, moving back to Aaron's mouth where he slipped his tongue between Aaron's lips and Aaron sucked it in without thinking.

They kissed just as aggressively as they had before, spurred on by the friction between their clothed bodies. The pads of Aaron's fingers pressed against Nathan's scalp, massaging through his hair as he became lost in the sensation of Nathan rubbing up against him.

Nathan moved his hands again, lowering them to hook his thumbs into the waistband of Aaron's pants and underwear. He dragged his thumbnails over the bare skin of Aaron's hipbones and Aaron felt himself losing it.

He pressed himself as close to Nathan as he could get, moving his hips as fast as he could and clasping on to Nathan's head. A wave of the most pleasant feeling washed over him and he felt lightheaded, as the world seemed to buzz around him.

The winter air felt warmer than it had only moments ago, and Aaron lay on the ground panting as Nathan continued to rut up against him until he too finished. It was only as the cum trapped inside his pants started to dry that Aaron asked himself what the hell he'd just done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paddy, Chas, and Carl see Aaron and Nathan's injuries.

Even the next morning, Aaron's skin was pink and tender from the scalding water of his late night shower. He'd stood under the water long after washing away the blood and dirt clinging to his face and to just about every part of his body that had been exposed that night.

When the first rays of sunshine filtered into the room, Aaron shoved his face into his pillow, eyes still open as they'd been all night. He couldn't get to sleep, his headache had gotten worse, and he couldn't get Nathan's stupid smirking face out of his head.

He had never even thought of Nathan, other than as someone who could do with a good hit or two. Now he kept hearing his voice asking if Aaron fancied him. As if Aaron would ever fancy someone like him. Rude, stuck up, pretty boy walking around the village like he could do whatever he wanted—he's the kind of guy people should be talking about being gay. Aaron didn't know why he hadn't seen it; he should've known that Nathan was like that. He was everything that Aaron wasn't. If anything had happened yesterday night—and nothing really had happened—then it's not like Aaron had even had his head on straight.

As far as Aaron was concerned, the night before needed to be forgotten.

Aaron couldn't look at himself in the mirror; it wouldn't do much to help him forget. He got dressed for work and his overalls did a good job of hiding the damage to most of his body. Still, there was no missing the massive amounts of bruising and cuts on his face.

Or the bite mark on his neck, Aaron realized when his fingers brushed across it as he arranged his collar.

Aaron looked down at his busted up knuckles and wanted nothing more than to punch something again, but he shook the feeling off and tried to pretend he couldn't remember where any of this damage had come from.

Like the night before, Aaron set out to avoid Paddy, but he didn't do as good a job this time around. Aaron didn't hear Paddy in the kitchen, but he almost walked into him as the older man was headed out. Paddy let out a little stunned noise as Aaron ducked away and attempted to avoid Paddy's gaze, but he had already seen his face.

"Aaron…" Paddy sounded winded, like the sight of Aaron's battered face had knocked the air out of him. Aaron didn't think it was all that bad. Nathan had got the worst of it…fuck, there were those thoughts again; he couldn't escape them. "What've you done to yourself?"

"Nothing." Aaron opened the refrigerator and peered inside, putting a barrier between him and Paddy's worried expression. Nothing could block the feel of the other man's presence though, and Aaron's shoulders tensed up in anticipation of questions that he didn't want to answer.

"You get yourself in another fight?" Paddy's voice was soft, sympathetic, and so full of worry that Aaron wanted to knock that worry right out of him. Instead he stood up and slammed the refrigerator door close and pushed past Paddy with the intent of grabbing some food anywhere but there.

As Aaron walked, Paddy kept edging around him, trying to get a better look at his face until Aaron finally stopped and made eye-contact with him for a few seconds.

"You're gonna get charged with something one day," Paddy's voice wavered and Aaron rolled his eyes before turning to make his way out. Paddy rushed to step between Aaron and the front door. He paused for a moment, wishing he could find the perfect words that would finally get Aaron to listen to him. "You can't just keep taking your anger out on everybody else."

"You don't think I know that?" Aaron shouted, making Paddy jump at the outburst that he probably should have expected. Why did Paddy always want to talk about things that Aaron was trying to forget?

"Okay." Paddy stepped forward with his hands in front of him, hoping to calm Aaron down. "Okay. Then talk to me. Just…just tell me what's going on. You can't be this upset over things not working out with Holly. There's something more to is, isn't there? The reason she dumped you."

Of course. Holly. He'd just gotten dumped by Holly. Aaron clenched his jaw, irritated at the reminder of the girl who might as well have kicked off this whole horror show, and he moved to step around Paddy, nudging him out of the way when he tried to block him.

"Okay, that's insensitive." Paddy followed behind him. "I know that Holly was…special to you—"

Aaron couldn't stand to hear Paddy continue and whipped around shouting again, "She was a spoiled little cow with the personality of one of your exam gloves. I'm well over her."

"Alright, but—" Paddy started, clearly not knowing what to say, but Aaron opened the door and stormed out anyway before he could say anything further.

Having missed out on breakfast in his efforts to avoid Paddy, Aaron headed to stop in the café to grab something to eat before heading off to work. The day was proving to be off to a bad start when he headed up towards the café as Chas and Carl were exiting.

Chas was in mid-sentence, eyes full of love and seeing nothing but Carl as he opened the door for her. Aaron tried to walk away as soon as he saw her, but they were only a few yards apart and she caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye as he was turning to head to the garage, breakfast-be-damned.

"Aaron?" Chas called behind him, but Aaron kept walking and didn't respond. He heard footsteps behind him and Aaron knew he should have just stayed in bed. She called him again and he knew she would just follow him all the way to work, so he spun around and let her get a good look at his face. It seemed to speak for itself today.

Chas's face dropped into an expression of confusion when she saw her son's face, as if she didn't quite understand what she was seeing. Aaron glanced over at Carl, who was still standing near the café's entrance with a small frown on his face.

"What on earth's happened to your face?" Chas reached out to grab Aaron's bruised chin and direct his attention back to her before he could pull it away.

"That's not helping, is it?" Aaron pulled back, rubbing his jaw where she'd squeezed it. It was mothering, that kind of thing, and it irritated him when she pulled that stuff on him now.

"Serves you right," Chas leaned in close and shouted at him, aggravating Aaron's headache, "Maybe it'll get you thinking next time you have a few too many drinks in—I can tell you're hung over!"

"Oh nice," Aaron backed away, rubbing his head in a way that only confirmed Chas's suspicions and spat out the first thing he could think of that would make her feel bad for assuming the worst of him and being right. "For all you know someone attacked me."

Chas blinked a few times, as if processing what Aaron had said before reaching out to him again. "Have you been attacked?"

"Just forget it." Aaron stepped aside to move out of the way of her outstretched hand. He didn't want his mother running all over the village telling everybody that he'd been attacked.

Seeing Chas's change in demeanor, Carl headed over and she looked at him with an exasperated expression on her face.

"D'you see this?" Chas asked Carl, gesturing towards her son.

Aaron had no desire to hear Carl telling Chas how much he'd deserved whatever happened to him, so he turned to leave again, stopping short when he saw Nathan walking down the road in their direction. Nathan was still wearing the clothes he'd had on the day before, covered in grass and dirt, and looking as if he had slept outside where Aaron had left him.

Aaron spun around like he'd been hit with an electric shock and he kept his eyes locked on his mother in an effort to pretend he hadn't seen Nathan approaching. Chas was asking him what was wrong with him, and Carl was asking if he was on drugs, but all Aaron heard was the chant in his head asking Nathan to keep walking down that road.

He could see out of the corner of his eye though that Nathan had other ideas.

As Nathan approached, Aaron turned his attention away from his mother to glare at the other man and make it clear that he was meant to stay away. Nathan stopped just short of the café entrance, taking up the location that Carl had just vacated.

"Aaron. Aaron, are you listening? I'm here talking to you." Chas shouted in frustration, finally looking to see what was distracting her son. As soon as she got a good look at Nathan's bruised cheek, busted lip, and black eye, she couldn't help but shout, "Are you serious?"

Chas looked back and forth between her son and the other man, who were watching each other and who looked to Chas as if they were about ready to start fighting again.

"You," Chas started towards Nathan and for the first time he broke eye-contact with Aaron and turned to continue into the café, not bothering to look at Chas. "Wait a minute," she called behind Nathan as he headed into the café.

"Sorry, love, no time to chat," Nathan looked over his shoulder and started to open the door, but Chas grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Nathan shot a quick glance over to Aaron, who was already stalking their way.

"Did you do this?" Chas asked accusingly, pointing back at Aaron.

"Man has to defend himself, doesn't he?" Nathan tore his arm out of Chas's grip and wiped the sleeve of his jacket where she'd touched him, an action that lost some of its arrogance in light of the considerable grime covering him everywhere else.

"You're a grown man, he's just a child!" Chas pointed at Aaron again, and Aaron grabbed a hold of her arm to try to pull her away before Nathan decided to say something he couldn't take back.

"You must be joking," Nathan laughed. "You're completely off it. Aaron there is 18 years old—not that much younger than me, I might add. And as far as anything that he gets himself into, he's a _man_." Nathan looked back at Aaron, "You are a man, aren't you, Aaron?"

"You need to keep your mouth shut." Aaron warned Nathan before turning his attention to his mother. "And you need to just leave it."

"I will not leave it!" Chas shouted, but Carl had joined in pulling her away.

"He's right, Chas." Carl whispered in her ear, placing a hand on her cheek and turning her face towards his. "These two want to tear each other apart, you leave 'em to it."

Chas looked at Carl with pleading eyes, but he kept steadily trying to ease her away and she finally gave in.

"I'm not done with you." Chas poked Aaron in the chest, getting him right in the middle of a large bruise, and he pushed his lips together trying not to hunch over in pain. She looked between him and Nathan a few times before stomping off a few steps ahead of Carl.

Aaron watched his mother being led away, waiting until she'd stopped looking back to turn his attention to the young man standing to his right. Their faces looking equally battered, anyone passing by would probably be concerned that another fight was about to break out, but Aaron was much too hurt to want to get into that again. And looking at Nathan, knowing what they'd done, he didn't even want to touch him.

Aaron grimaced at Nathan in disgust, while Nathan kept his expression unreadable.

"Have a coffee?" Nathan nodded his heads towards the café, acting as if he hadn't registered Aaron's animosity.

"You stay away from me." Aaron threatened, receiving nothing but a blank look in return. Unsure what to do with Nathan's lack of response, Aaron slipped his hands in his pockets and turned his back, as if he didn't even consider Nathan a threat. He walked to work hungry, dreading whatever he'd face for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 27, 2010. Archived August 17, 2015.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted April 8, 2010. Archived August 17, 2015.


End file.
